Lately I have been wallowing in my own insecurity, a feeling of bemoaning the winter blues in the land of eternal springtime and sun. Ocean waves unfurl and crash, but are unable to wash away the void inside me. The last five years or so I have been a man on the move, in a constant state of departure while always arriving. Chile, South Bend, Toledo, San Juan and Albuquerque have all been places that I have called "home" that have been left behind in the last half decade. As a result, all the sentiments and trimmings that go along with such a mythical place have been absent, leaving nothing but a desert wind to howl inside me.
Now, as I near a year in my present location with at least another ahead of me I'm already thinking of leaving this paradise behind in pursuit of what has become habit, a comfortable feeling of detatchment, and I ask myself, "Why? Aren't you tired of this? Aren't you ready for somewhere, something, someone to call home?" Habits are hard to break.
Caught somewhere in vague state of vacillation, a package came in the mail on Friday. Its contents were preordered two months ago. I had forgotten about it. Its mere arrival had somehow made me notice the sunshine. Inside was something that I hadn't experienced in years. I felt home.
Pearl Jam's oddly self-titled album carries with it something indefineable that has been absent from their work for ten years. Read actual album reviews and you'll hear journalists talk about a band that has reached maturity and found stable ground, aged but not grown old. Go back to reviews of Riot Act (2002) and Binaural (2000) and you'll find the same comments, probably from the same writers, paid to churn out unrevealing and noncommittal statements so as not to upset the Big Heads that own record companies and the magazine they write for (sorry, that was unprofessional and sincerely cynical).
I don't know, maybe this album really isn't that different from previous efforts. Maybe it was the nature of coincidence that puts something in someone's hands at precisely the time they need it. Whatever the case, Pearl Jam finds Eddie Vedder's voice taking me to a place not felt on their last two albums, taking me to a place I can call home, no matter where I go.
I sadly gave up on them after Vs. But perhaps it's time to give them a shot. After seeing the documentary Hype! this past weekend, I was already contemplating it...
Posted by: Brian Faust | May 02, 2006 at 05:50 AM